All of Earth's animals give the Swiss a standing ovation !!!

Swiss can't flush their old fish
The Daily News - Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Want to get rid of your goldfish? Swiss owners who have been flushing them down the toilet -- still alive -- must now find other methods since strict, new animal protection laws went into effect Monday. Instead, a fish must be first knocked out and then killed before its body can be disposed of, the law stipulates.

I guess the Swiss figure it's more humane for Nemo to be knocked out and then killed. Allowing the fish to swim it's last few seconds must be "cruel and unusual punishment". Will they be providing the fish a tiny little aquatic anesthesiologist to administer the potion for "Nemo's Deep Sleep"? (Hey, that could be the name of Disney's next feature film...)
"Paging Dr. Kevorkian... Dr. Kevorkian, please report to little Juergen's bedroom in Zürich..."

The new legislation spells out in exhaustive detail how all domestic animals are to be treated, whether they be pets, farm animals or destined for scientific experiments. Wild animals are also covered by the law if they reside in zoos or circuses. Just like in George Orwell's satire Animal Farm however, some animals enjoy more "equal rights" than others. Not only are goldfish now afforded a more "dignified" death than being dispatched round the U-bend, but it is now also forbidden for Swiss anglers to practise catch-and-release fishing or recreational catching only to throw the fish back in the water, or to use live fish as bait.






Dr. Kevorkian will become a millionaire sedating minnows for all of the fishermen.
"Trust The Gorton's Fisherman"

And common pets such as budgerigars (parakeets) and hamsters can no longer be kept by themselves. The same applies for more exotic breeds, such as llamas, alpacas and yaks, kept in the nation's zoos. Even sheep and goats must have at least "a visual contact with their fellows", according to the new law.





Everyone had better get out their Swiss Army knives and get busy building their ark.

Dog owners will be obliged to take their pets to special dog obedience classes, so that Fido is less likely to bite. And they will not be allowed to crop their tails or ears, nor "force them to have surgery to get droopy ears". Pigs, often said to be happiest when rolling around in the mud, now seem to have the legal right to a shower to freshen up afterwards.











This little piggy got a Rosemary Mint Awakening Body Wrap,
This little piggy had a Himalayan Rejuvenation Treatment,
This little piggy had Roasted Chorizo-stuffed Pork Loin with Grilled Peach-Onion Sauce,
This little piggy got a Brazilian wax,
And this little piggy went... "Wee wee wee" all the way to the spa casino...